march 2016 vacancies

march 2016 vacancies

because i have had times in mylife and jobs in my life that are actually in a way morestressful. like i was a wedding dj. and when you do-- i was, when iwas in college. when you do somebody's wedding,it is a very important day in their lives. arguably, more important thanthe emmys are to say kevin spacey, right. >> james: sure.

>> so if you screw it up, or ifyou do something terrible, which i have done at a weddingreception, or if you-- i don't want to dominate theconversation. >> james: like what, what is theworst thing. >> the worst thing that happenedwas, you know, about nine months before the wedding, the brideidand groom will come and sit down and say we want to hear thissong and you say okay, do you want to do the garter, thebouquet, do you want to have the father dance with the bride,mother with the groom, they

check all the boxes. nine months later these peopleget married. and what i don't know is inbetween that time when we checked all the boxes off andthat night when i called the groom's mother up for theirdance, the mother had passed away. and yeah, that's what everybodydid. and literally everyone at thiswedding started crying, myself included.

it was a horrible, horrible,wrong, long horrible moment. >> james: what did you do? >> what do you play after that. >> celebration by kool and thegang. >> james: a quick flip to remeverybody hurts. >> what is the high pressurejobs you have ever had in your life. >> oh, goodness, let's see,probably the most high pressure was the-- i was a lifeguard atthe kinder care.

>> oh, really. >> yes. >> james: that is pressure. >> yes, yes. >> that's real pressure. >> they are crazy, the under twofeet variety, those guys are quick and everything becomes aweapon, you know. and that is a crazyresponsibility, not interested. not interested in that one.

>> a lot of pooping in the pool.he>> the occasional scooper had to come out, it's true, yeah. >> james: patrick, didn't you--now is this true, you didn't join a circus but you wanted tojoin the circus, is that right?s >> yes, i wanted to be a part ofthe ringling brothers barnum and bailey circus and there was aform you had to fill out. and they would ask you are youcomfortable in small cars, things like that, do you liketravel. are you good with big groups ofpeople, in small places.

>> and. >> and i evidently didn't getthe job. but it was just hysterical thelist of questions that they would ask you. >> james: so there actually aresome clowns, in a small car. >> i think they are trying todetermine if you have a good sense of humor or not. >> that is even a weird thing,like if you go into that job interview you should know youare going to be stuffed in a carou

with other clown, wait a minute,i didn't sign up to be put in a car.ut>> hold up, i only wear shoes that are the size of my feet. >> this is too schizophrenic. i feel like i'm on two differenttalk shows, am i on your show? >> james: is this, cuz youwanted to join the circus, is that why you got into learninghow to make balloon animals. >> yes, i wanted to be in thecircus. so that is why i thought balloonanimals would be good?

>> i had a show, a time when iwas doing birthday parties and i would do balloon tricks. >> you still do it. >> i can, yes.n,>> here we go. >> when we come back we willfind out what patrick has made for all of us. don't go anywhere. >> i will see what i can do.


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march 2016 vacancies