i know gradeaundera already made a video about this, but shut up, okay? he wasn't the only person to ever be interviewed. just because you talk about something doesn't mean no one else is allowed to talk about it. now i'm a young, adult guy, so i only ever applied to fast food and retail jobs. and can i ask, why is there so much pressure to get a job when you're a teenager?
as soon as i turned 16, my dad would always ask me: "did you get a job yet?" and i would hate it when i would apply to places online and then my dad would tell me that i need to apply in person because that's better...? they need to see my sparkling, responsible face...? but then 99% of the time, i would walk in and ask some other teenager where i could apply and they would just look at me and say: "you can apply online dude."
and just so you know, i got a job at sooubwayâ„¢ that i applied for online, dad. but okay, it is important to get a job at that age so you can save up for college. i thought that's what people got fast food jobs for, but only one other person i worked with was planning on going to college. but even though you won't be able to afford college on a minimum wage job, every penny helps, because college is importantâ„¢
except in my case, i dropped out of college. school is for nerds!! why is it so difficult to get a job in fast food or retail? if you don't have any friends that are working someplace that's hiring, and if you don't have any past job experience, then it's so hard to get a job even as a teenager. or maybe i just completely failed every single interview, i don't know. i would apply to who knows how many places online,
and then there was only a 20% chance that they would call and set up an interview, and then after the interview there was a 0% chance they would actually hire me can we talk about those insulting personality quizzes they make you take? like, how are places supposed to know how good of a worker you are from a quiz? when i first started applying to places, i answered those questions truthfully, but then when i was getting desperate, i just answered strongly agree, or
strongly disagree, my opinions were never 'somewhat' this one time i applied to a grocery store and this woman took me in the break room and then she told me to 'wait' and then she left for 20 minutes. yeah! i timed it! and i didn't want to start playing on my phone, just in case she came back and saw how 'irresponsible' i was being. so i seriously just sat there doing nothing for 20 minutes. and i was in the break room! other
employees just walked in and out and no one was acknowledging my existence. does that mean i can just walk into any other break room and just sit down and no one's gonna stop me? but then the lady finally came back with another girl and this girl was being trained to be a manager, so the lady was using me to teach her how to interview people. so they sat across from me and they were just talking to each other and they were saying stuff like:
"so you can't ask him if he's 18, you have to ask him if he's over 18." "are you over 18?" "no." "okay, so you're gonna check the "not higher" box, right there. i applied to a chipotle and i freaking got an interview right? they didn't hire me. obviously. but then i applied to a different chipotle and i got an
interview there too, and apparently the other chipotle snitched on me 'cause i get to this chipotle and the lady there asks me: "did you already apply here?" and i told her i got an interview at a different chipotle and she sits me down and starts telling me about how: "chipotle is looking for a certain type of person working for them" but all i heard was:
"get out of this store you stupid, stupid boy, what makes you think i would ever hire you?" phhh. 'certain type' are you looking for a person who puts all the sour cream on one half of the burrito? is that what you mean by 'certain type?' 'cause you seem to have an excess amount of people of that certain type! #boycottchipotlebecausetheydidn'thirejameslike3yearsago
apparently i was that certain type of person who worked at sooubwayâ„¢ because that's where i finally got hired. i'm not sure if that's an insult or not. and, okay, i don't want to brag, but i was one of the best employees that sooubwayâ„¢ ever had. i was always on time, or 5 minutes late, no in between. i never called in last minute saying i needed someone to cover my shift. in fact, i think i covered the most shifts. and whenever i closed with another person, the
manager would usually complain about the work the other person did, so all those places that didn't hire me, you missed out! so this next story happened after i got a job at sooubwayâ„¢, i didn't want to work with sandwiches anymore, and i didn't want to keep being paid minimum wage. so i actually like math, right? i'm pretty frickin' smart, and- hold on, i just need to say something, a lot of people asked me what i was going to major in in
college because they think i did something artsy and that's what they wanna do, i actually majored in math education. that's right, i wanted to be a math teacher, not this artsy stuff. ugh so i applied to be a math tutor at my community college. like, that would've been the perfect job. i'm a math education major, i want to be a math teacher,
and this job would give me good practice for the actual job. so in this interview, they gave you a practice problem, and then you had to teach the people giving the interview, which makes sense. i think all jobs should have a 'practice' instead of an 'interview.' for some stupid reason, i was only allowed to teach the math that i had completed, and i did ap calculus in high school, but for another stupid reason the credits didn't transfer, maybe it was
because i didn't do the ap test, who knows. so i had to do calculus and community college again, so when i was applying, i could only tutor algebra and trigonometry. i got my practice problem and it was so obviously a calculus problem. it was one of those 'this is person a's distance over time and this is person b's distance over time, who's going faster at this time?' okay, that's an easy problem, okay? take my word for it.
but since these people i was quote-on-quote 'tutoring' didn't know calculus, i couldn't use calculus to teach them. "do you guys know what a derivative is?" "umm.. no." and i did my dang darndest best teaching them what calculus was, but then at the end, they told me that i did it wrong, like my answer was completely wrong. they said something like:
"oh, it's assuming they were going the same direction" i don't fricking know. and i felt super stupid, and embarrassed. and i told them: "yeah, okay i'll leave," and as i was walking to my car i was doing the problem in my head, and i was like: "no, i did it right!" and then in the car i even got out a piece of paper and did the problem again. "no, i'm still right!"
so the whole time i was soo bummed out, i totally blew that interview, they're not gonna hire me. but then that night, i got a phone call and it's-it's it's the people and they told me: "hey, so we're talking about that problem with some of the calculus teachers, they all agree that problem had some elements of calculus." so that leads me to believe that these three really didn't know what a derivative was,
but then they told me they'd give me a second chance. i was ecstatic! i had to go to target and buy another nice shirt because i only own one nice shirt and it would be weird if i showed up in the same shirt. i get there, i get the problem about a farmer and his fence. i totally nail that problem. i knew exactly how much fence that farmer needed to build two pens with one being 2x +3 units
larger. these farm animals were gonna be so happy! hit me up if you need any more help dude. the whole time i kept asking them: "d'you guys understand?" and they said: "yeah" so i thought i was doing good, i left feeling a lot more confident. but then they never called me back!
so i didn't get the job, even though i bought a nice shirt from target. and i kept working at subway. and the world lost what could've been an awesome math teacher that day. this is what i'm thinking: they're probably just embarrassed that they gave me a calculus problem and then i totally got it right in front of them. and then they thought it would've been awkward if we worked together. that's-that's totally what happened,
it wasn't because i actually got the problem wrong or i was a freshman and all the other tutors were in their mid-20s. the point is, i'm not gonna be teaching math any time soon. unless, i fricking make a video about it. like that khan academy guy? man, do you know how many tests i didn't fail because of that guy? ah, i love that guy! he should adopt me. so here's a little tip for job interviews, if you're ever gonna do one, you should always, always,
wear your seatbelt.
@
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